Feeling of helplessness:
Believing you’re helpless in life may be a actually terrible feeling and that i write from personal experience here. For 5 years, variety of traumatic events led me to the point where I believed life control nothing however pain and anguish. i really believed life would unfold in a method that will destroy me and there wasn’t one thing I might do regarding it.
Perhaps you’ve felt this way too?
The underlying belief is that the necessary issue here. it’s a firm belief that life is something that happens to you and you have got NO control over anything. In short, you’re a ineffective, passive recipient for no matter life decides to throw at you.
It is an awful state to be in. moreover, this belief merely isn’t true.
Let me give an example. Say you and your partner separate. Now, this will be one terribly traumatic experience, I’ve been through it, so have many others. You react in a extremely negative and emotionally arousing way:
“I’m ravaged. He/she was my whole world and now my world has fallen apart. Everything I do in life always goes wrong and this is another disaster. I’ll ne’er be happy again.”
Wow. It’s a strong reaction isn’t it? I’m sure you, like me, have either reacted this way to an incident or you’ve detected somebody react this way. it’s a really damaging way to assign a meaning to an event you’re confronted with.
The last 2 sentences reveal the idea in helplessness. The key words are: Everything perpetually goes wrong and never be happy again. after you react in such how, you’re telling yourself that you simply are helpless because nothing has ever gone right for you and you’ll never be happy regardless of what. You’re saying you can’t control anything and so, you actually believe you’re helpless.
How do you suppose you’ll feel after you react like this? precisely. You’ll feel deeply sad, confused, annoyed and in fact, helpless to change your life. Why would you’re feeling anything else? Everything perpetually goes wrong and you’ll ne’er be happy once more therefore what’s the purpose of doing anything to create change?
Do you see how helplessness works? but it merely isn’t true. Of course, there are several things in life that are entirely on the far side your control. other people and Mother Nature to call but two. There are things in life you have got some management over – where you live and work for instance. it’s necessary to keep these facts about control firmly in mind.
How to overcome?
Here’s the foremost important fact regarding helplessness: there’s one factor you have full control over in your life which is how you react and assign meanings to everything you’re confronted with. in the example above, a better reaction would be:
“OK, my relationship hasn’t worked but different things in my life are going well and I’ll think about them for a short while as I come to terms with what’s happened. simply because this relationship hasn’t worked out, it doesn’t mean future relationships can fail and once I’ve got over this, I’ll get out there and notice somebody higher.”
See the difference? You’re keeping control by distribution a less emotional meaning, a meaning more in keeping with reality. You’re acknowledging that you’re hurting, but that this is often temporary and once you’re prepared, you’ll strive once more. you recognize you have got different things in your life that you will concentrate on and this reaction will stop a sense of helplessness arising.